Recently, I telephoned an associate with whom I had not communicated for a while. Our interactions had been ‘strained’ for several years, prior to the last time I saw him. Therefore, I 
was nervous about initiating this latest re-connection.
My motivations were light-hearted and pure however, and so I proceeded, trusting that ‘somehow’ the sentiments would be received in the spirit of good-will, as they were intended.
This person is highly regarded by many — a somewhat high profile individual: a ‘celebrity’ of sorts. If I were to mention his name, many people would know him, as well as some of his contributions in the world.
A couple years ago, during my ’emotionally-traumatic transition’ from Blackberry to iPhone, I lost his cell phone number. Therefore, I could not send him the standard ‘text message,’ which, because of the ‘fluctuating levels of affinity’ that had intensified between the two of us over the years, this ‘texting’ seemed to be the closest act of intimacy each of us knew, ‘intuitively,’ either one could handle coming from the other. Again still: I might have been ‘projecting’ my fears onto him with this mode of thinking, I will confess.
Recently, I was pondering ideas of how ‘compassion,’ ‘tolerance,’ ‘patience,’ and ‘temperance’ each transmit (and transmute) subtle, yet profound signals to persons who are in receipt of these communications. Many of us are inclined to ‘fight and defend ourselves’ against attacks aimed in our direction.
This is a natural tendency, and justifiable, since no person deserves being abused by another.
Still, if the truth be told, most attacks aimed at us ARE NOT REALLY MEANT FOR US. In reality, most people’s ‘lashing out’ — expressing their anger or hurt — is a ‘delayed reaction’ to an offense that transpired LONG AGO.
Perhaps, we have also spoken a recent ‘prayer of surrender,’ requesting that clarity affect a positive change in our lives,’ such that, seemingly ‘coincidentally’ — WE just happen to be ‘fortunate enough’ to come along right around the time that this other person is ‘due’ to be ‘taught his or her significant-life lesson’. This happens all “coincidentally,” mind you.
We trigger something within THIS OTHER divine soul: a conscious or unconscious memory of a past event that left him or her feeling deeply hurt or devastated. Because the pain was never consoled nor mended, the individual seizes, then relishes in the opportunity to ‘reconcile every single-solitary-ounce of hurt and despair he or she HAS EVER EXPERIENCED’ — all at the exact moment when you or I, innocently stroll along and request from him or her: “the time of day.”
But, here is where the exchange gets good: here is where OUR LESSON comes into play. We live in a Universe consisting of natural laws — Laws of Nature — containing concepts referenced in phrases such as: “You reap what you sow,” “Actions speak louder than words,” and “What goes around, comes around,” to name a few.
Therefore, when it seems like we are unjustifiably (or even ‘justifiably) attacked, our ‘growth’ and the ability to ‘over-come the odds,’ and thereby ‘cease’ experiences such traumatic exchanges? Our ability to partake of what is commonly referred to as a spiritual bypass?
It occurs in the brief millisecond of the millisecond when we opt to either ‘return the favor’ for the hateful action that was directed our way,’ OR, we stay awake: we do not check out, space out, go unconscious, nor forget what we know, but rather, we recognize that one hateful glance, stare or remark results is a responsive ‘venomous reaction,’ to the degree that the waves of negativity recur in successive motions — ultimately being ‘coined’ “never-ending, viscous cycles,” also known as hell on earth.
Practicing ‘restraint,’ and thereby exhibiting ‘kindness towards another’ is what is commonly referred to as ‘taking the high road.’ The ‘loving response,’ often including ‘no response,’ requires a greater degree of balance and strength than does the: “I’mma return the favor” reaction.
The person who exercises his or her ability to ‘not strike back when stricken’ is the person who ‘partakes of the kingdom, here on earth.’ Over time, this mode of operation results in the continual outpouring of more grace, more peace, and more love as this person’s life experiences.
As I write this Article, I recognize that I write these words as a reminder to myself, because during the course of my life, I have often forgotten these truths that I know. I then also recall the reasons why the name ‘Countess Gratitude’ was assigned to this evolving, opera-singing, theatrical persona: I KNEW that my consistent, daily-life practices DID NOT include enough ‘gratitude’ nor ‘graciousness’: I’d just assume curse you out, rather than allow you to bat another crooked eye-lash in my direction. “You will not hurt me” was my silent, inner mantra, and I MEANT it.
Therefore, I wanted to ‘remind myself of these truths that I know,’ and thus decided that this performance character’s name was ONE WAY to create a reminder for myself, as well as possibly others, too, if they chose to engage, with interest.
And so, the another day, I made this phone call to an associate — someone from whom I have been more or less ‘estranged-in-spirit-and-inter-connectivity’ for a while. I phoned him because a sudden-strong desire within compelled me to stop what I was doing, and take some time to ‘acknowledge him’ for the important role he has played in my life’s evolution.
I really did not expect to hear back from him: still, the urge to send the communication propelled me forward, into the activity of placing the phone call to his Office, where I was instructed to leave a message in the Voice Mailbox of his Assistant.
To my surprise, the ‘Assistant,’ turned out to be someone whom I also know, and whom I love very much! I was PLEASED to discover that she was interacting with him, regularly. This person is SUCH A SWEET energetic presence, so much so that for some reason, it gave me joy to know that my associate was being cared for by someone who exhibits such consistent kindness and generosity of spirit.
Today, the Assistant phoned, and because I was not available to pick up, she also left a Voice mail Message in my Inbox.
When I listened to the Mailbox message, however, I literally stopped in my tracks: I’d convinced myself that most of the persons from this particular ‘long-time circle of friends’ could care less whether I lived or died. I was in the process of permanently shutting down certain Accounts to which they are all connected, so that I would no longer need the constant reminder regarding the ‘disconnect’.
And so now, here entering stage left is this dear, sweet, kind Angel — whom I can only assume God sent to me in that precise and perfect moment. She expressed sentiments of how ‘grateful’ she was to hear my expressions of appreciation on the Voice message that I’d left. She further expounded to briefly reminisce, referencing our first meeting — on stage together, singing — years ago — emphasizing how highly she admired and regarded me then, and how she still feels the same way, today.
I nearly dropped the phone. Had I not been in shock, I would have burst into tears, because I was SO touched.
The beauty of these realizations are thus: We are all cut from the same cloth, which comes from the Divine. However, each of us is a unique expression of The One. We must embrace ourselves, and also acknowledge others during the course of their journey!
It occurred to me that ‘acknowledging the people and things’ that positively affect our lives (also known as expressing ‘gratitude’), it is a necessary aspect of being ‘interconnected.’
In general, I feel most comfy with ‘distance’ between myself and others (like me looking out at the audience from on stage). Being ‘connected’ to people is something that I can ‘pull off’ once I’ve determined that I am among ‘friends’ and ‘like minds.’ Otherwise, it transpires, sporadically, and only during brief moments when I INTENTIONALLY ‘focus really, really hard.’
But today, I received a reminder that ‘whatever I extend outwards to others, it comes back to me:’ good, bad or ugly. Further, the gracious sentiment, or the affectionate word is frequently not returned by the person to whom the ‘acknowledgement’ was given to from you, but rather, the return gesture to you comes from someone else. It’s funny how life works in this way. Still, you ‘get back’ what you ‘put out,’ without restrictions on from where or how the gift is returned to us.
Hearing those compassionate words of recognition from my friend, today, actually INSPIRED ME to do more! It felt good. She told me that my message would be passed on to our mutual associate, which is fine by me. Either way, because of the experience, I am encouraged to act with a little more kindness today; and to practice a bit more patience and temperance tomorrow and the next day; and to exhibit more acknowledgments and love towards both myself, and to others, in the proceeding moments.
For those who ask: “Where’s the gratitude? Where’s the love?”
My response is thus: “It’s right here: peeking out it’s beautiful head, and expressing itself through me, (and also, hopefully, through you?) to the degree that I surrender to it, allowing myself to be used.”
Equally important are constant reminders that the purpose of the practice is not to ‘beat up on myself’ during those moments when I fall short of the ultimate mark, but rather: to ‘get back up from the fall, and resume the journey’.
With this in mind, I am inspired to continue along the path of allowing for Goodness, Compassion, Patience and Temperance to be out-pictured in my day-to-day affairs.
Today, I am learning the art of gratitude. Today, I am grateful.
countess gratitude 